I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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