I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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