I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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