Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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