He is an equal opportunity slut.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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