I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
