Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize