bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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