Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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