im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
