So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
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so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
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Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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