I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
