Betty ford says i'm here all night
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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