She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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