when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize