Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize