ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
