Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
