a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
