Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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