She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
