they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
as a side note pls kill me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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