I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
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Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
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Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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