Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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