the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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