We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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