I bet he comes in French.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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