Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
