HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize