I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
