She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i think i just lost a toe
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
