glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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