Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
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She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
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If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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