Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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