Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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