her vagine was all disorganized.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
