Swine flu. Run for my life!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize