In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
