Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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