I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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