All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize