I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize