She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
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If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
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I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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