Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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