your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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