I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
