he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
