when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
