I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize