God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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