Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
