Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
