ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
