I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
