by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
