I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
