Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
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it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
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I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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