she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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